also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
