Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
