Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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