Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
