Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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