My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
