don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
