Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
