Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
is wine microwaveable?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
