We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
