At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
jump out the window naked night went bad
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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