I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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