It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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