worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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