just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think my moral compass just broke
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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