Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
