lets start a swedish sibling band together
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
