he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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