if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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