fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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