Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Another day, another engagement, another cat
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize