ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
