Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
