I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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