i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
