3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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