You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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