hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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