But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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