is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
