3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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