I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
wow bdsm is so cute
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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