I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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