my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If its not for food we ain't going out.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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