And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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