I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
