i just google imaged poop.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
