Yo dont text me then not text me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
