This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Pants are for mortals
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
