I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
