so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
