Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Pappa wants mamma naked
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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