Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
