when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
