Non-Jews are for practice
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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