I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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