just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
