that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize