I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
