First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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