are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize