went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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