great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
