Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
