We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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