Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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