2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just invented taco cereal.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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