See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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