My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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