Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
