Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So squirting runs in the family.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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