My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
