There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
