i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
