Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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