think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
