i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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