I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
